when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
