awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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