WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
