Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
