I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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