We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
