So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Someone came in the potted fern
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
