and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
