Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
