Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this just has baby written all over it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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