you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
