Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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