so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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