addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
