I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
