Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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