It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
