Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
