Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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