I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
