YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
