This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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