ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize