well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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