I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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