I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
