The brown eye won't let me do that either.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
