What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
