The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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