i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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