Tell her she can't have a vagina
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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