Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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