Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the day after is always just damage control
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your cock deserves a montage
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
