i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
