Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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