She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
