sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Let's get the cat blown out
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
