Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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