also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
