I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
