her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The air taste purple.
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