the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My dick has a subreddit
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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