just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
