I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
