there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
