So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
