just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Panties = found
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
