Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
