I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
