I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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