Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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