I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
