so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
