Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Say something about gay babies.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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