I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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