playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
